if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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