The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
