My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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