If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
