ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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