I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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