dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
