She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize