ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
