I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
