I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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