i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
