I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.