I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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