lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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