Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Of course I have a pirate flag
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
