Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
