just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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