I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
