Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
