Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I could fuck to npr.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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