I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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