i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
