Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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