dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
