Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I have aggressive nipples.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
