no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
