We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize