This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
What a dumb baby whore.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
