Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
