I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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