she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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