The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
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My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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