Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
