fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
