I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
