you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
