brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
