Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
