i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
