I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
