Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize