We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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