Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
