He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
That accounts for only three of the penises
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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