My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
