just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
