You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
