Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
