he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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