He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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