Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
