this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
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