He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
