he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
