You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
