Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
