Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
