They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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