lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
