people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
