Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
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