you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
