Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
