they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Still dying that you shit outside
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
