want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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